The Bottom Seam

The Bottom Seam

There are a few nightmares every surfer fears—getting caught inside as a washout set hits, sharks, or, worst of all, losing your boardshorts in front of a packed lineup. Guess which one happened to me?

It was a crisp morning with decent waist high surf. The sun was rising, the waves were fairly glassy, and I was feeling content.  I had just bought a new pair of boardshorts from a major brand that were a little looser than my usual fit, but I figured, they are the latest popular thing.

I paddled out. The first few waves were fun, and then came a solid overhead set. Time for a deep duck dive. Push the board down, separate, pop up.  A strange lightness. A breezy sensation where there should have been fabric.

I surfaced. My board was there. My dignity? Not so much.

I looked down. Nothing but water. My boardshorts had ghosted me, drifting somewhere in the deep blue abyss like an ex-lover who left without saying goodbye. I was now an unwilling participant in an impromptu nude beach experience, right in front of about 30 other surfers.

Panic set in. What do you do when you’ve gone natural in the ocean? You have two choices:

1. Stay underwater forever and become one with the fish.
2. Desperately search for your shorts while trying to act cool.

I chose option two. It’s not easy swimming while trying to keep the cheeks submerged like a submarine, scanning the water. My boardshorts, naturally, had floated just far enough away to make retrieval awkward. Don’t want to moon the lineup.

After what felt like an eternity (but was probably 30 seconds of extreme public humiliation), I managed to grab my shorts and wrangle them back on. But the damage was done. A few chuckles. Some knowing smirks. One guy yelled, “Nice duck dive, bro!”

Lesson learned: Need a better fit.

So to all my fellow surfers out there—may your waves be clean, your duck dives smooth, and your boardshorts securely fastened.

Give the ProFit design of our 4-way stretch, quick dry boardshorts a try!